Beckoning me, telling me to come over, we need everybody
They say.To the project, the dinner, the cafe
I won't come.
I am safe as long as I am indoors...no not at your house my
House where I can hide. Hide from what you ask?
From everything that cuts and pricks and watches and
I know they talk
Talk about me.
Suspicion dark, sticky like syrup drips
It's bitterness into my mind
I cannot help but think, you are fantacizing as
Men often do about
Beautiful shapes like a thousand hourglasses pass
Right by me...I am older, rounded, tired
Scared by my disintegration.
Love me, yes, I like that sound-
Like many clinking wine glasses in 'cheers' you show
Me security. You can be trusted you say but
Here, where I dwell amid ruinous heaps
Of photos, nic-nacs and dust
Trust has long vaporized.
I forget now....how did that occur?
You hold me tight and try to reassure me
Yet you don't know what it is like
This wave upon wave
Of spirit-killing doubt.I have lived so long with it
Holds me together like some cracked
One word, one doubt that is all it takes.
What are you looking at? Why did you scroll and stop there?
What are you thinking? I am often fraught with
Worry about these slow-boiling obsessions of mine.
Why I have no real 'lady' friends
Because the feelings haunt me and as long as I
Sit right here
Quietly watching I will survive this too.